The End of the World as we Know It

Classes are over and I now find myself sitting in my aunt and uncle's house back in the states to write one final entry for this trip.

The last week at Findhorn was full of evaluations and play. Starting Saturday night after classes ended, there was a birthday party for Ruby, one of the community members. Everyone wore something (Ruby) Red and the music was fabulous to dance to. There was a trivia quiz about Ruby and to our surprise....we actually got three questions right! And only one was multiple choice.

Sunday was our last academic endeavor: The Portfolio Show. I've already posted my paper from that project, but let me say that the show was wonderful. It was great to see everyone's work and the community was really supportive. And it was my first art show so that was really special. I keep finding inspiration for more art, so maybe this will become something a little more regular for me. Maybe...

Our final week.

We evaluated ourselves and the program verbally through journaling and conversing with the professors. We epically burned our learning sticks and other patterns and habits that we wish to leave behind. It was really nice to let go of my stick in the fire and realize that I am moving forward into the world. My past is there, but it does not control me. I hope to move forward with an open heart and mind and a strong sense of adventure.

We also met with a Life Coach who was supposed to help us with our "next steps" in going home. Although she had a lot of interesting things to say, I didn't find the session particularly helpful. David and Stacie could have given us all that information and we probably would have been more open to it through them than a new face. I did come to the conclusion and commitment by the end of the session that I need to find a way to stay grounded--and consciously need to take time to ground myself and be within my body every day. I don't want to float away into just my head again.

Wednesday was field trip day. We went to Culloden battlefield which was an important battlefield in Scottish history. This is where the Highlanders began to meet their end and the English firmly took hold of the country. The visitor's center was beautiful--brand new-- and the battlefield itself was impressive and spooky. It's supposedly haunted and I definitely had trouble breathing in a couple places. I don't know if that was due to haunting or just how cold it was outside, but it was indeed a bit creepy.

After we left Culloden, we went to see the Clava Cairns. These were smaller than New Grange and they were uncovered. The orientation was the same although their size was smaller. There were at least three cairns at the site and with the snow glistening it was quite a sight to see.


Wednesday night we had a surprise. Dragonfly and Elizabeth took (most of ) us to Cluny for a game of Cluny Clue(or Cluedo in the UK). We dressed as the characters, played hide and seek, had to find the weapons and then figure out "whodunnit" from the clues that we heard(the sooner we got back to the lounge the more clues we heard). The winner, Ina and Jake, got a pie that we subsequently all shared. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad they put that on for us. Cluny is a huge mansion so it was great to run around hiding and seeking.


Thursday morning we did a completion with Craig at the allotments that we had been working on. We lined the paths, planted onion, ragged jack and broad beans. We also moved some stones for the tool shed that will hopefully show up there soon. I hope that the next group enjoys working in that space as much as I did.

Thursday afternoon we met a final time in the classroom for written evaluations and cleaning. With 16 people the cleaning went pretty quickly. We then went home and waiting until...


PUB NIGHT!! We all met at the Kimberly in the village for drinks with Jonathan and some of our mentors. It was a lot of fun to just have some fun without worrying about work. I had some fun conversations and some great hugs.

Friday was more cleaning and packing and completion dinner in the CC. I managed to release one of my bags to the Boutique and carry slightly less home with me, although I had gained some new items as well. It worked out.

Jake and Callie left before dinner. Most of us got to see them before they disappeared from the world of Findhorn, but it was sad to see them go. Sitting here now, I still don't believe that I'm back. They were the first to leave.

Dinner was fun, even with that bittersweet note. Emma bought us all clown(ish) noses and we played and ate delicious food. It was Sylvia's last shift in the kitchen(she focalizes the kitchen and is leaving to move to Auroville), and she made the most wonderful food. No cheese loaf, but delicious nonetheless.

After dinner Emma invited us to her barrel for wine and snacks and hanging out. As all gatherings are, it was a lot of fun. A nice way to round off the semester.

Saturday morning I got up early, met with E.Vail and we made our way to the 8.15 bus. Tom took that bus as well and we bid farewell in Forres. Em and I just made our bus and many hours later found ourselves in Edinburgh. We stayed at Castle Rock Hostel, which I highly recommend. Not only is it across the street from the castle(the castle is up on a hill, but it's essentially across the street), but it is beautiful and felt very clean and safe.

We explored the city, seeking our the castle that Hogwarts was based on and The Elephant Room, the cafe where the first Harry Potter was written. I ate there and it was tasty, but the whole place was quite crowded. The rest of the night consisted of wandering through the city and the pubs before making it back to the hostel to sleep before I came home.

Sunday was the big day. I made all my connections and sat for SO LONG on the plane. Almost 8 hours. It was a lot of movie watching and attempting to sleep. Chris picked me up at JFK and it was wonderful to have that drive back with him.

So now here I am, back on American soil. Welcome home and thank you.