A long time coming....

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of events, experiences, emotions and too little sleep. Classes dealt with conflict resolution, shamanism, waste, making baskets...a long week. In the middle of it Chris came to visit which was such a treat. Although it was difficult to balance schoolwork, time with the group and time alone with him, somehow it worked out. We didn't do much, just found ourselves at the beach, watched movies, did homework and talked a lot.

Last weekend we did a sweat lodge. We started with Craig on Friday morning in the Earth lodge and started a fire and played music while he introduced the weekend sweat. The after working on "the land" that we're clearing and designing as a community garden space, we had lunch and attunement. The attunement dealt with conflicts within the group. We met in pairs an gave eachother "bugs and hugs." It was really difficult for me to come up with things on the spot and it felt a bit forced but I think overall the group was happy with the activity. I think it was so hard for me because I didn't get a lot of constructive feedback and I don't take criticism well. I'm trying to keep what people said in mind, although some comments are harder than others. I guess I'm trying to keep a general awareness of how I am perceived or might be perceived. Mostly the comments were positive, so you know, no one hates me, there are just some things I can work on.

Saturday we did the sweat. We started by gathering wood that Craig had cut and preparing the lodge. After moving all the wood, cleaning the lodge and started to put the blankets on it, covering the whole thing so that no light shone through. We added the tarps last to keep the heat in. The fire had been started by this point with our burden stones placed in to heat up for the lodge itself. We sang songs and told stories while the stones heated. Before we started the fire we blessed the directions opening the gates for support and thanking them for being with us through the process. Fire is an obvious one, and water both to drink and to create steam. The air we breathe and the earth we sit on and cool ourselves with. I was covered in earth by the end.

We sat in the lodge for 3-4 rounds with the heat. I did all 4 although the 4th was incredibly hot and difficult for me. As was the second. I found that interesting. The first round was devoted to our pasts. We prayed, asked forgiveness and thanks for ourselves, people and events in our pasts. The second round was our present and the third our future. The last round was open, just anything else we wanted to say. In between rounds I lay on the earth outside the lodge and looked at the stars, and of course drank water. I could feel my heart beating throughout my entire body. Overall it was an amazing experience. I enjoy sweating and enjoyed this experience.

The next day we met back at the space to do a completion. We each spent time alone in nature and created something to show our experiences. I found a tree I was comfortable in, a good place to journal and worked with charcoal and dead leaves to add to my tree and make it more my own. Nothing lasting but something.

This week has been more classes. Leadership, Shambala Day(Buddhism), art of fascination assessment(I played the guitar) and tutorials on our research projects.

Emily Vail and I did our student led learning session on Friday afternoon. We talked about our permaculture experiences as we've both done courses. Some people didn't come because they were going away for the weekend which made the group feel really small, but it went well I thought.

This weekend has been a lot of homework and catching up after Chris' visit. I also went to two performances in the Universal Hall. Friday night was a Native American called Silverbird. He was a complete fraud. I left halfway through thoroughly offended. He treated us like children and lipsinked to his own songs! And it was one of the most expensive performances at the U.Hall. This man is an actor and seemed to be exploiting his Native American heritage. He is an ambassador for peace out of the UN but didn't talk about any of that. Basically it was crap.

Saturday night was nice though. We went to see the Rachel Walker Band. They played Celtic and Gaelic music and made me homesick for the Grange, especially since it was Saturday night. Check them out, they're wonderful.